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"We are taught to hate our bodies, thus to hate ourselves" |
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Dealing With an Eating Disorder |
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A tornado...
An eating disorder is a tornado. It controls your thoughts, emotions, physical body and everything else. Once you get caught up in the wind of the disorder it is hard to get out. And one thing is for certain. You can't do it alone. Fighting an eating disorder is like fighting an invisible enemy. Enemies are not friendly, they are not on your side and they are not to help you. Neither is an eating disorder. And once you get caught up in the cycle of disordered eating that is exactly what it becomes. An enemy. But you might not see it that way, your pattern of eating might become your "friend". It might be your "secret", or your "outlet". I'm here to tell you it's not. I don't want to sound like a preacher. I was in your place not too long ago. But I know what it feels like to be caught up in the spiral of the tornado and not be able to get put back down and it is not fun. There are different reasons why girls may fall into an eating disorder but the ultimate reason is to lose weight. For some girls it is about control; because they feel they have lost control in everything else in their life. For some girls it is about self-destructive behavior, and for some it is simply the wish to lose weight. But what ever reason that you have this eating disorder, you are being self-destructive, and believe me, the tornado will find you. |
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The Tricks and the Truth
Anyone who has ever suffered from an eating disorder will be aware of the 'tricks' that you do to keep your eating disorder hidden from the world, and to feel that secret sense of victory when you know you have successfully convinced those around you that you have in fact eaten. The danger is that anyone who is experiencing an eating disorder will find new and different ways to 'trick' those around them into believing that they are eating, in order to keep losing weight. "My eating disorder was like a trophy that I hid in my closet. I knew it was there, and it was my own secret victory. If anyone else dare try to open the cupboard door, I would guard it & fiercely protect it until that person tired of trying and left me alone." This can be extremely frustrating for those close to someone suffering from an eating disorder. If they see you eat, they will believe that your eating disorder has gone and that you are back to normal. Little do they know that behind closed doors, you are getting rid of the food you have eaten. HIDE AND SEEK Wearing baggy clothing in an attempt to hide changes in your body weight. Hiding yourself from the people you love. Hiding your eating habits by taking forever to eat something, pushing food off your plate into a serviette or pushing it around your plate. Putting weights in your purse to fool the doctor's scales. Water loading i.e. drinking litres of water before your weigh in. The most difficult trick is the eating disorder itself, the truth is that it is capable of destroying our bodies, our minds, our relationships and ultimately, our lives. The only person you are tricking is yourself. WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES?? You are using your talent, imagination, ambition, determination, energy to channel your life into something extremely destructive that could end in death. If you can turn all this around, and channel it into something positive, just imagine what you would be capable of achieving. Some 'tricks' can do more damage to our precious bodies than I believe most of us are aware. I am talking serious, long term damage. What is the underlying goal? Ask yourself honestly, what are the reasons you are willing to hurt your body and put it through all this with the risk of serious long term damage? Anger is a common thread here, trying to get the feelings out, a form of destructive self expression. It is important to try to explore these feelings, to work through them, to 'purge' them somehow, whether it's through talking to a friend, a therapist or writing it down. I used to write down my feelings all the time, and found that it really helped me to 'get it out' and from there, I was able to identify the cause and reasons for my eating disorder. I remember feeling so angry sometimes I wanted to explode, I wanted to yell, scream, shout, cry, anything to get those feelings out. The more you can get the feelings out through productive means such as expression through talking or writing, the more you can begin to let go of the pain and anguish that torments your every waking hour. But the first step is having a good, honest look inside yourself and asking yourself some serious questions about why you are doing this to yourself. You do not deserve to die. Whatever the reasons for your eating disorder, find them, uncover them and begin to deal with them through talking to a therapist. A therapist has the ability to make sense of all those conflicting emotions & guide you through the process of dealing with them and lying them to rest forever, therefore giving you the freedom you crave to move on with your life without those awful feelings raging inside you. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AND CHERISH THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE GIFT OF LIFE. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, TO FIND THAT HAPPINESS AGAIN. The above (Tricks and the truth) was taken from an unknown source. If I took it from your website please let me know and I would be happy to give credit to you. |
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