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Self-Injury *"I'd rather feel the physical pain than the emotional pain. It's easier to handle and it heals faster."*
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Secretive Life of SI
*** Please be honest with yourself... in this section and if you feel that some of this information might be triggering please don't read it now. It is good information and I encourage you to bookmark it and come to it when you are feeling a little bit more stable. In the meantime please follow the link to the left that says "SUPPORT," that will take you to a page that will help you get through this time if you are feeling like you want to cut!!! I wish you luck! <3 Cassi

Dictionary- Self-injury is the act of attempting to alter a mood state by inflicting physical harm serious enough to cause tissue damage to your body.

Alternative- Harming yourself to release your emotional pain.

A secret. That's what it is... Scars up and down you arms and all over your body. Or maybe just one that you do over and over again. Long sleeves, concealer, and made up excuses right? The oh too close encounter with the teacher coming over before you pull your sweatshirt sleeve down. Or the girls asking you about the scars on your stomach in the locker room? "Oh I climbed over a fence & got kind of cut up." It's all a secret right?Mysterious scars, your awake "nighttime life" and the emotions encircling your heart. You've gotten so good at putting on "the act". You know what I'm talking about...the all-American girl, everything going for her, miss perfect act. Everyone believes that you are completely happy with yourself, nobody has any idea that deep down you have pain that could make a grown man break down in tears.

***As one girl wrote me... of her "secret life" she described it as a shameful secret that she had hidden for 6 years for the fear of hurting her loved ones.

"I'm already hurting enough, why should I put them through any suffering along the way?" --Amanda, 16

***Another cutter informed me... that she kept her behavior a secret because she was ashamed that she had never learned better coping mechanisms. She was afraid that someone might look down on her and her family if they ever found out.

"I was raised in a very well off family and we are always expected to act proper and with our best manners. We are always around a lot of rich people and if anyone ever knew I did anything like this my whole family would get looked down upon." --Shelby, 14

***Both of these reasons are very common... and sent to me by many girls. In looking at other girls stories and looking then at my own, I see that we care a lot more about the people surrounding us than we do ourselves. We try to protect them from harmful situations in whatever way we can and by doing that we cause even more harm to ourselves. We need to take a step back & learn to care about ourselves.
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Why Do You Do it?
Self-injury is your coping technique, well, it is for many cutters; the self-injury relieves anxiety and depression which could lead to suicide if not alleviated. Many people mistconstrue the feeling that the self-injury gives the you though. Self- injury is NOT a suicide attempt. I'm sure you know that though. In actuality it is a way of trying to deal with the factors that may lead you to be suicidal. Self-harm can be focusing and calming. It can give you a feeling of control over your life and your body which you have experienced in no other way.

But what happens when the cutting doesn't help anymore? Because it gets to that point. It did for me. I started cutting deeper and deeper because I just thought I wasn't going deep enough to make it help. But when I cut myself deep enough that it needed stitches I suddenly realized that it wasn't the deepness of the cuts that wasn't helping, it was the cuts themselves. Yeah, I cut a few times after that, but nothing very serious. I knew that the cutting wasn't really relieving my pain anymore. It wasn't fighting my battles like it used to, (or like I thought it used to) It was just a behavior. An addiction that I had started. So, yes. Cutting can get to the point where it will not help anymore & then what? You need to get your feelings out. But in a healthy way. When the cutting doesn't help anymore, you know it is time to get help, your are 100% ready for it at that time.

I know the next section might be brutal, and it was very hard for me to write because I had never thought about it until I started writing. What about the future? Even if you stop, self-injury will always be a part of your life. You might be saying I'm wrong here, but I think I'm 100% right. It will always be in the backround. It will always be there and affect, even in the slightest bit, the way you live your adult lives. You might still have emotional wounds open and even though you don't cope with them by cutting it's always there lurking in the shadows. You will always have the scars on your body because even thoughover the years they might fade into almost invisible they will still be there as reminders of what you did. And with cutting you don't only leave physical scars,they're scars in your heart too. And those will never fade. So, before you get caught in the cycle, or if you already have, seek help. Let someone nurture your wounds and help you make the wounds hurt just a little less.

Self-injury is an addiction. Just like drugs or alcohol. The more you do the more addicted you get. Some people I've talked to want to stop but feel like the razor just jumps into their hand. They have to see the blood just once more, or have to feel the ripping sensation for just one more cut. They feel they have gotten caught up in a vicious cycle of razors, knives, bandaids and gauze instead of the boys, beaches, music and movies they should be caught up in. Remember that people with addictions to drugs and alcohol need help with overcoming their addictions right? Then so do we. I encourage anyone out there who is a cutter and is not already in therapy to immediatly seek it.

Ways to Distract Yourself
Coming soon

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"If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be."
--JR Miller

"I'd rather feel the physical pain than the emotional pain. It's easier to handle and it heals faster."

"If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be." --JR Miller

"If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be."
--JR Miller